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By Michael - September 25th, 2009 My favorite of the so-called “moderate” resorts at Walt Disney World is Dixie Landings (known today as “Port Orleans – Riverside,” it’ll always be Dixie Landings to me). I prefer its atmosphere and location to many of the pricier hotels on property, even though its amenities have suffered over the years from the constant and merciless cuts of the Eisner years. Still, its relaxed atmosphere and convenient location remain a draw; a nighttime trip down the Sassagoula is one of Walt Disney World’s most enjoyable, obscure and free attractions.
At the geographical center of Dixie Landings is Ol’ Man Island, where the resort’s main swimming area lies under the shade of towering oaks. As with most of the new construction from the early Eisner period, Dixie Landings is loaded with an enormous and obscure back-story to explain its origins. This was the period when we started to hear the constant refrain of “it all starts with story,” and when we were introduced to the legends of such apocryphal greats such as Merriweather Adam Pleasure or, in this case, brothers “Colonel” Jonathon Colby and Everette Peace. Who, you say? Why the Ol’ Man Everette Peace himself. Read on, from a 1995 issue of The Sassagoula Times:
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By Michael - September 22nd, 2009 Those of you who’ve been around here a while might know of my disdain for and propensity to mock press releases. There’s something about the modern entertainment industry press release that grates on me so; perhaps it’s because, by their very nature, they’re intended to herald any event or product as if it were the second coming of pie – regardless of the commodity’s actual quality. Thus we get legitimately exciting announcements made in the exact same manner and tone as singularly uninspiring news. California Adventure got promoted with the same fervor – if not more so – than the new Fantasyland. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is re-released with the same breathless anticipation and flowery rhetoric as Cinderella III: A Twist in Time. There’s no room for nuance or comparison in the press release; everything is the most awesome thing, ever, even if the writer and the reader both know that’s not true. It’s an strange and warped institution.
Occasionally, though, you get the odd press release that actually contains what it should – valuable and germane information about breaking news. And sometimes you see one that’s just odd.
I recently found this specific press release while researching an unrelated topic. It’s from 1987, so it’s definitely not current, and that might explain some of its unique properties. Mostly, though, it’s just the best press release ever. Let me show you the first paragraph, and then we’ll discuss:
LAKE BUENA VISTA, FLA., Sept. 29 /PRN/ — Beginning Sept. 30, Walt Disney World will introduce two new shows saluting the bicentennial of the U.S. Constitution, a daredevil circus starring international and intergalactic performers, Disney Dollars, a monkey-breeding program to aid quadriplegics, a joint experiment with NASA to find a way to grow food in space, and a Constitution-era exhibit including a Liberty Bell cast from the original mold, and the Brasher Doubloon, the world’s most valuable coin.
Ok. So. I’m not sure where to start. I wish I could recapture my reaction as I first read this, because I was kind of tired and my eyes skimmed the paragraph picking up only keywords. Monkey. Quadriplegic. Daredevil. Intergalactic. Doubloon. Breeding. Circus. NASA. On a percentile basis, I’d say that there are more words that I’d never expected to find than in any other paragraph written about Disney World, ever. At least, I didn’t expect to find them in this specific configuration. Maybe this paragraph made more sense in context, right? Yeah, not so much:
INTERVIEW AND PHOTO OPPORTUNITIES
LENGTH: 943 words
DATELINE: LAKE BUENA VISTA, FLA., Sept. 29
LAKE BUENA VISTA, FLA., Sept. 29 /PRN/ — Beginning Sept. 30, Walt Disney World will introduce two new shows saluting the bicentennial of the U.S. Constitution, a daredevil circus starring international and intergalactic performers, Disney Dollars, a monkey-breeding program to aid quadriplegics, a joint experiment with NASA to find a way to grow food in space, and a Constitution-era exhibit including a Liberty Bell cast from the original mold, and the Brasher Doubloon, the world’s most valuable coin.
Walt Disney Imagineers will also do presentations for the media of projects under construction and conduct tours of building sites including the Disney-MGM Studio, Grand Floridian Beach Resort, Norway Showcase, Pleasure Island nightclub complex and Typhoon Lagoon water park.
WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 30
8:00 a.m. Projects presentation by Walt Disney Imagineers in Contemporary Resort Ballroom of the Americas.
9:00 a.m. Construction site tours.
1:00 p.m. ”America the Musical” debut in Magic Kingdom. Unabashedly patriotic stage show. (Also at 4:30 p.m.)
2:00 p.m. Astronaut Gordon Cooper, ”Roots” author Alex Haley and Walt Disney Attractions President Dick Nunis dedicate Liberty Bell replica cast from original mold at Liberty Square in the Magic Kingdom.
3:00 p.m. ”All America Parade” premier. Bicentennial of Constitution salute to the U.S. from sea-to-shining sea. Led by ”We the People” float with Mickey and Minnie in colonial garb.
3:15 p.m. Raising by helicopter of the largest U.S. Flag as the parade moves down Main Street, U.S.A. in the Magic Kingdom. Flag is 235 feet long, 104 feet wide and weighs three-quarters of a ton.
THURSDAY, OCT. 1
9:00 a.m. OCALA, Fla. Opening of first Walt Disney World Information and Reservation Center at I-75 and State Rte. 200.
2:00 p.m. Premier performance of Epcot Center Circus Spectacular featuring Jay Cochrane walking tightrope 180 feet above ground, Flying Rodriquez Family from the Moscow State Circus and the Winn Family, 1987 winners of circus’ highest honor, the Gold Clown Award
7:00 p.m. Walt Disney World Culinary Olympic Team demonstration at Epcot Center Land pavilion, sampling of handwich, Disney’s futuristic transportable meal, demonstration by Disney chefs of preparation of food grown in The Land.
FRIDAY, OCT. 2
8:30 a.m. East Coast introduction of Disney Dollars. Real currency that can be spent at Walt Disney World and Disneyland: Mickey Mouse on $1 bills, Goofy on $5 bills, signed by Treasurer Scrooge McDuck who will meet the Wells Fargo truck delivering bills to Epcot Center.
9:25 a.m. Disney Dollar introduction in the Magic Kingdom.
10:00 a.m. Press conference with Walt Disney Co. Chairman Michael Eisner, Walt Disney Co. President Frank Wells, Walt Disney Attractions Executive Vice President Marketing Jack Lindquist at Disney Story in Magic Kingdom.
10:15 a.m. Kraft/NASA press conference at The Land for food and science writers.
11:30 a.m. Walt Disney Co. President Frank Wells, Kraft President Michael Miles and astronaut shuttle pilot Steve Oswald dedicate NASA experiment designed to find a way to grow food in space.
WEDNESDAY THROUGH FRIDAY —
Boston University psychologist M.J. Willard available for interviews on Helping Hands, Simians for the Disabled. Walt Disney World is establishing the breeding colony on Discovery Island for capuchins (organ grinder monkeys) in cooperation with Dr. Willard who has developed a program in which the monkeys are trained to aid quadriplegics.
Noted cookbook author and home economist Maggie Murphy who tested and interpreted the 350 recipes in the best-selling ”Cooking With Mickey Around Our World” is available for interviews.
CONTACT — Disney World Publicity, 305-824-4531
LANGUAGE: ENGLISH
DISTRIBUTION: TO STATE AND ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR
Now that’s the good stuff. No focus-grouped marketing strategy, or big rollout of the latest film or television tie-in. Just a nice assortment of completely random and brilliantly obscure events tied up in a three-day period. Alex Haley, Gordon Cooper and Dick Nunis debuting the Liberty Bell? All that’s missing from that scenario are a priest, a rabbi, Bette Midler and Sir Edmund Hillary.
Then we have Epcot Center Circus Spectacular, one of the great early examples of Eisner’s complete failure to grasp the significance or point of EPCOT. Then again, what model city of the future doesn’t need elephant poop and motorcycles careening overhead? From the Moscow State Circus came… the Flying Rodriquez Family? I guess the Great O’Shaughnesseys of Shanghai were already booked. I also love that “circus’ highest honor” is the Gold Clown Award. It’s the only major award that will also haunt your dreams.
Debuting at the Magic Kingdom was America the Musical, which sounds like something from a Christopher Guest movie and is billed as “unabashedly patriotic”. I love that phrasing; it’s so oddly defensive, like people had been whispering around town that the Magic Kingdom wasn’t really patriotic. Or that Busch Gardens had some bicentennial show they were trying to one-up: “You think you’re patriotic?! How about now?! In your face, Sea World!!”
If all that and the “raising by helicopter of the largest U.S. Flag” wasn’t enough excitement for you, how about a demonstration of “Disney’s futuristic transportable meal,” the Handwich ™, by the members of the Walt Disney World Culinary Olympic Team. Again, I understand all those words individually but the way they’re placed together makes my brain hurt. I guess I’m showing my hand a little here in that I’m currently researching the Handwich ™ (as mentioned in our very first post, way back when), but it was worth risking someone poaching my investigative topic to share this article. My favorite thing about it is that they were having a “demonstration”. Of a sandwich. Gentlemen, behold!!
Thought: How many NASA/Kraft press conferences do you think there have been in all of history? My guess – not many.
Finally we have Dr. Willard, from Simians for the Disabled. Obviously, it’s a noble cause with a good purpose, but… “Simians for the Disabled”? How about “Ungulates for the Obese” or “Cetaceans for the Deranged?” Capybaras for the Mundane? I could do this all day. The point is, they describe the breeding program that had been established on Discovery Island – before it had been left to rot – but I love that they actually clarify that these are “organ grinder monkeys”. What, was the grizzled news editor sitting in his office, chomping on his cigar, thinking he needed to spice up the press release a little bit? “Sure, sure, we got all this monkey stuff but the rubes won’t go for this! What kinda scientific bunk is that – ‘capuchin’? Just put ‘organ grinder monkey’! They’ll get that out in the sticks!”
Oh, for fun.
We’ll return to your regular schedule of news and analysis forthwith, but thank you for taking this trip down memory lane with me as we shared what is, clearly, the greatest press release ever.
The end.
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By Michael - September 20th, 2009 I love the internet. Sure, there are always interesting stories and facts coming to light, but every now and again you see something you never, ever thought you’d see. Or see again, that is.
From YouTube comes this amazing video; it’s a trip from the TTC to EPCOT in the driver’s cabin of a Mark IV monorail. In 1984. How much do I wish I’d had a video camera in 1984? A lot, that’s how much.
This video is incredible. It captures so much of what made this era great; the newness of everything, the Jack Wagner narration on the monorail, even the awesomely ridiculous orange carpeting of the monorail cockpit seats. This is the EPCOT of legend – the powerhouse lineup of Universe of Energy, Horizons, and World of Motion in Future World east, and Journey into Imagination still holding down the fort on the west side. Oh, to be able to return to that world. Sadly, the video cuts off before we get to see the construction site of The Living Seas.
This recaptures so much of what seized my imagination as a kid; those hazy Floridian mornings, the quick and convenient monorail or boat ride to a theme park, and the promise of amazing new things to come. The peppy yet authoritative voice of Jack Wagner deserves a second mention for somehow managing to set the perfect mood for those exciting morning trips to the Magic Kingdom or EPCOT Center. Disney didn’t try to be exciting – it just was. Enjoy the video – it’s a rare treat!
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By Michael - September 20th, 2009  Nothing to see here… these aren’t the toys you’re looking for… (Photo: DLP.info) One of the stranger moments of my D23 Expo experience was having one of my questions shot down by Bruce Vaughn, the Chief Creative Executive of Imagineering. At a press conference following the panel discussion of the creation of Pixar-based attractions for the theme parks, I asked about some of the attractions they hadn’t mentioned – those being planned for the Walt Disney Studios park in Paris. To the apparent surprise of many of the fellow Disney obsessives in the crowd, Vaughn’s response was that no new projects had been announced for Paris.
To those in that audience who were less-informed, I might have come off as simply wrong or trying to be sneaky. Truth being told, I was trying to be sneaky – just not in the way you might think.
We’ve known about the upcoming Toy Story Playland for quite some time now. The expansion has been rumored for a few years, and more recently the expansion’s plans and construction permits have been posted online. We even discussed it at length here in April. Obviously, the old adage is that until ground is broken plans can change. The thing is, in this case ground has been broken! The always-informative DLP.info has posted construction pictures of the site, as well as the construction wall art that heralds the arrival of the Toy Story characters. You can understand why I didn’t bother to check to see if a press release had been issued before asking my question!
I wasn’t really asking about the Playland, though. In my oh-so-clever craftiness I thought that by asking a vague question about the Pixar projects underway in Paris instead of asking specifically about the Toy Story rides, I might get a comment about the rumored Ratatouille attraction that is also said to be underway. I couldn’t care less about Toy Story Playland and its three carny rides, but I’m darn sure interested in the rumored trackless Ratatouille dark ride. It’s pretty funny that I didn’t want to look like a jerk asking about a Ratatouille ride that I wasn’t sure had been officially confirmed, so I thought I’d cover myself by asking about the Toy Story Playland which I thought was fair game. Busted.
Obviously, I have no gripe with Vaughn over his answer. After all, if they haven’t announced anything, they haven’t announced anything. The look on the faces of the Imagineers when I asked the question was worth the price of admission anyway. Sorry guys, I knew not what I did! But my question is this: why hasn’t the Playland been announced? This seems to be a Disney trend lately; you might recall the constant denials of a new resort project as the Bay Lake Tower was built in plain sight of thousands of daily guests.
At least with Bay Lake Tower I can understand the reasoning; Disney still had plenty of DVC units to sell at Saratoga Springs and Animal Kingdom Lodge, and didn’t want to spoil that market by dumping all the Bay Lake rooms into the mix. But why the secrecy about the project in Paris that is obviously underway? I can think of two possibilities. The first is that there’s some contractual weirdness with Euro Disney S.C.A. that requires those announcements to be made in specific places and times. The second is that they’re trying to keep the Parisian version of Toy Story Playland under wraps for as long as possible, because an exact clone of the area is one of the three highly-touted expansions for Hong Kong Disneyland. Disney already had the area planned and ready to go for Paris; the Hong Kong version is a copy, and Disney might not want that to be obvious as they deal with testy Chinese officials. Surely the Hong Kong officials know, though; Toy Story Land was a last-minute addition to the HKDL expansions, joining the lineup when Chinese officials nixed the proposed Glacier Bay area.
As for Paris, the toys are on the way. Unless this is the most committed disinformation campaign ever!
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By Michael - September 18th, 2009 Just a week after addressing fans at the D23 Expo, Dick Cook, the chairman of The Walt Disney Studios, has resigned. This comes as something of a shock; Cook has been at Disney for 38 years, starting as a ride operator at Disneyland. According to Nikki Finke, the resignation was less than voluntary; the L.A. Times claims that Cook has been under intense criticism for the quality of Disney’s release slate. I find this shocking in Hollywood, where quality tends to come way down the importance scale behind profitability. Sure, G-Force looked embarrassingly lowbrow, but since when does that matter as long as it made a ton of money?
It’s hard to know how to react to this news. Cook seems like a really nice guy who loves Disney, and he worked his way up from the bottom while staying involved with the fans. He’s the kind of person one would want in charge of Walt Disney Pictures. At the same time, it’s hard to argue that the quality of the studio’s output has been what it should be. Cook has done a far better job at keeping the studio’s product respectable than some previous chiefs, notably Joe Roth, but for every Pirates of the Caribbean or TRON: Legacy there’s still been a dependence on corny shlock comedies like Old Dogs. It seems that for every two steps forward, there’s often been one step back.
Disney has also shown a number of odd inconsistencies in recent years; after announcing a massive reduction in future releases, they signed new distribution deals with Dreamworks and Marvel. Their avowed pursuit of franchises, which threatens the potential for innovation, turned on its ear after they let the Chronicles of Narnia series escape to another studio after a poorly-scheduled summer release of an inferior sequel.
The official statements from Disney:
September 18, 2009
STATEMENT FROM RICHARD W. COOK, CHAIRMAN, THE WALT DISNEY STUDIOS
I am stepping down from my role as chairman of The Walt Disney Studios, effective immediately.
I have loved every minute of my 38 years that I have worked at Disney…from the beginning as a ride operator on Disneyland’s steam train and monorail to my position as chairman of The Walt Disney Studios. To wrap up my Disney experience in a neatly bundled statement is close to impossible. But what I will say is, during my time at the Studio, we have achieved many industry and Company milestones. Our talent roster is simply the best in the business. I believe our slate of upcoming motion pictures is the best in our history. But most of all, I love the people, my colleagues, my teammates, who are the most talented, dedicated and loyal folks in the world. I know that I leave the Studio in their exceptional hands.
I have been contemplating this for some time now and feel it’s the right time for me to move on to new adventures…and in the words of one of my baseball heroes, Yogi Berra, “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
STATEMENT FROM ROBERT A. IGER, PRESIDENT AND CEO, THE WALT DISNEY COMPANY
“Throughout his distinguished 38-year Disney career, Dick Cook’s outstanding creative instincts and incomparable showmanship have truly enriched this company and significantly impacted Disney’s great legacy,” said Disney CEO Bob Iger. “We thank Dick for his tremendous passion for Disney, and his many accomplishments and contributions to The Walt Disney Studios, including a very promising upcoming film slate. On behalf of everyone at Disney, we wish him the best with all the future has to offer.”
It’s far too early to even guess at what this means for the future. Nikki Finke reports that Disney CEO Bob Iger has become impressed by Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige, and that he’s under consideration for the job. Walt Disney Pictures is a far larger, multi-studio organization than Marvel, and services a much wider audience, but Feige did do a good job getting that studio off the ground. Hopefully we’ll get some answers soon, and that it will bode well for the future quality and diversity of Disney’s release slate.
UPDATE: More details from the New York Times. It brings the focus back on what I suspected all along – concerns about money. It seems that the studio ran a $12 million deficit this quarter as opposed to a large profit for this quarter last year; Cook seems to be a scapegoat for the lagging DVD sales that are plaguing the entire industry. The Times article also makes it sound that the industry complaint about Cook’s tenure was that he didn’t do enough pandering and shameless cross-promotion; apparently, if we were up to High School Musical XXVII the analysts would be cheering.
One interesting thread running through all these articles is how beloved Cook seems to be by the people he’s worked with. He’s been very close with a lot of influential producers over the years, and it remains to be seen how these events will strain Disney’s relationship with long-time studio talent. Cook was reportedly instrumental in bringing Pixar into the Disney fold; Nikki Finke is now reporting that Steven Spielberg is very upset with Cook’s departure. Also upset is Johnny Depp, who signed onto the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film because of his close ties to Cook. In an interesting conversation with the L.A. Times, Depp talks about his friendship with Cook and how the studio shakeup dampens his enthusiasm for Pirates 4 – a film for which he has yet to sign a finalized deal. Depp calls Cook “a friend inside an insane system” and “the sweetest man on the planet and such a gent.”
The latest reports say that Cook decided the timing of his own departure; he apparently has had differences with Iger over how the studio was run, and rather than compromise his preferred methods he decided to resign. More on this from the L.A. Times.
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