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Oh Noes! Teh Disney Studios Failz!!1!

Rich RossThere must be some weird sort of Hollywood law of thermodynamics at work today. For each suspect Disney executive that retires, another gets promoted. So it happened that Rich Ross, president of Disney Channels Worldwide, was tapped to replace the fired Dick Cook as head of the Walt Disney Studios.

Let’s be clear. Ross has been incredibly successful business-wise in his thirteen years at the Disney Channel. He has turned it into a worldwide brand, with Disney television networks now in 163 countries. He’s also made Disney a ton of money thanks to the High School Musical and Hannah Montana franchises.

The thing is, he’s also turned the Disney Channel into a vast wasteland of dreck that has zero appeal to anyone over the age of twelve. Gone are the classic Disney films, animated shorts and anthology shows. Gone are even the more classy and better-scripted shows for teens and tweens that could also hold some appeal for adults. All that remains on the Disney Channel are ridiculously broad, slapstick farces with embarrassingly canned laughter and a series of blandly stereotyped mischievous moppets and their clueless parents. It’s junk food TV, which will disappear into the memory hole as soon as the next fad comes along.

There’s some concern noted in the coverage of Ross’s promotion; he is being handed the reins of a massive Hollywood studio, and yet he has no film production experience. He also lacks the ties to talent both behind and in front of the camera that former studio chief Dick Cook could claim.

I don’t know where this is going, but I fear it’s Iger’s branding mania gone awry. Walt Disney Pictures could probably make some money cranking out five Jonas Brothers movies next year, but those profits will be fleeting and eventually that well will run dry. Better to produce quality films than chase fads, eh? I would never make it in Hollywood…

Ross will also head Disney’s theatrical and music groups. The synergy, it burns. Read all the gory details here.

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Ed Grier Disappears… Even Moreso Than Previously

Ed GrierIn the continuing cascade of surprising executive news from Team Disney, the mysterious and possibly mythical Disneyland Resort President Ed Grier announced today that he would be retiring Friday. When asked for comment, Disneyland cast members said, “Who?”

Grier capped his 28-year career at Disney, where he started as a senior auditor at Walt Disney World, with his three years in charge of Disneyland. His tenure in Anaheim is best known for his near-total absence from the park, which disappointed many after previous resort president Matt Ouimet became famous for the amount of time he spent in Disneyland interacting with front-line cast members. Ouimet also remains beloved amongst fans for overseeing the restoration of Disneyland following the disastrous presidencies of Paul Pressler and Cynthia Harriss (both of whom went on to fail spectacularly at Gap Inc.), while Grier has only been tasked to maintain a fragile status quo during an economic turndown.

Grier, who is only 54, departs Disney using the ol’ “more time with the family” canard; this chestnut was also used by Harriss before she fled to The Gap to rejoin Pressler. He apparently realized it was time to retire as he helped move his son into Stanford this fall, and plans to spend his time helping another son run his new production company.

So who will run Disneyland? Previous resignations have usually included the announcement of a replacement, so I suspect we’ll know soon. Grier mentions that he’s been planning this exit for a while; one would expect Disney has a succession plan in place. But which way will it go? Will it be a true-blue Disneylander like Ouimet, an incompetent hatchetman like Pressler, or merely a photo-op placeholder like Grier? Will there be more resignations? Phil Holmes? Meg Crofton? Jay Rasulo? Will Ouimet return on his white horse to save Disney park fans from the budgeteers?

More as the world turns…

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A Day In The Life

This is turning to home movies day here at Progress City, but this was too cool not to share. This actually comes from the Disney Parks Blog, which is a hopeful sign that even if we don’t get the inside poop on Handwiches ™ we might at the very least get some nice media and images from them:

Ok, so maybe the “Disney Parks” branding sticks in my throat a little (or a lot), but is’s a really nice piece of work. I’m tempted to be ever-so-bitchy and say that it’s good to see a Disney-created video with shots lasting longer than seven picoseconds but I’ll play nice and just applaud a job well done. More, please!

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It’s My Birthday Too, Yeah!

Eleven years later, and twenty-seven years ago today in Orlando:

Hey, at least this time the song was actually about the park!

How much would I love to see the Disney company show this much enthusiasm about EPCOT and its mission today? Not a character or franchise in sight – just big, big ideas and lots of ambition.

Happy birthday, EPCOT, and also to Horizons, which turns twenty-six today. We miss you.

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You Say It’s Your Birthday?

Thirty-eight years ago today, on 1st October 1971, Walt Disney World officially opened its gates in Orlando. This was how the new resort’s arrival was heralded to the public:

Ridiculous. Although many divisions of the company, especially WED, were still putting out good work at this time, the television specials of this era more than anything show how the company was really starting to miss Walt’s sense of taste and showmanship. Those 1970s specials are truly dire, which is unfortunate as it denied Walt Disney World the opportunity to leave as rich a television legacy as Disneyland’s.

It’s always good to see Julie Andrews, though! Did you know that today is her birthday, too? Oh, it’s true. Julie and the Magic Kingdom share a birthday. Hopefully she’s having a jolly holiday.

All that and a Mark IV monorail, too! And Buddy Hackett!

Happy Birthday, Disney World. Hopefully the upcoming years will be kinder.

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