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MAKE IT STOP

One of the more amusing yet tragic moments of the recent Destination D event in California came after a presentation of Disneyland history which featured video clips of television specials and park events of years past. Many of these pieces of history were definitely “of an era,” often embarrassingly so. One thing has become clear, the moderators said, and that is that Disneyland never did well when it tried to follow trends and be “hip.” Disneyland was Disneyland, after all, and the park and its characters always did best when they were true to themselves. Any attempt to the contrary would soon prove dated and almost inevitably embarrassing.

Then, they introduced the Disney Dance Crew.

BLAM!

In perhaps some sort of cosmic karmic redress to make up for Walt Disney World being afflicted ever so briefly by Stitch’s Supersonic Celebration, the Disney Dance Crew has arrived in the Hollywood Pictures Backlot area of California Adventure. It’s ironic that Disney is making a major push lately to rehabilitate Mickey’s image with the upcoming Epic Mickey game, while they simultaneously invest more than a billion dollars to salvage California Adventure. Yet they turn around and saddle us with this show, which manages to defame both the character and the park all in one fell swoop.

BLIGGITY BLAM!

Rather than me just going on at length, why don’t you see for yourself? If, like me, you can’t make it through the full thing, I recommend you check in at 3:50, when Mickey shows up (featuring acting!), and 7:25 when we’re treated to a rather inconceivable adaptation of Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life For Me). Lest you think your ears deceive you, the line does indeed say “Drink up me gangstas, yo ho!” No, seriously.

As is typical with this sort of thing, I feel bad for the entertainment Cast Members who are signed up to perform this material. I would imagine it takes some amount of skill to dance around like that in a full Mickey costume, and it seems a shame to waste it (and the still very cool animated face costume) on this car wreck of a show.

And as for that show… well, there really are no words are there? At least none that wouldn’t get me blacklisted by parental filtering software.

My only fervent hope is that the long line of executives who thought up, signed off on, and approved this show are visited this Halloween season by a wraith-like reventant Ub Iwerks to make them pay for their crimes against good taste.

BLAAAAM!

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9 comments to MAKE IT STOP

  • Robin

    Just before 5mins, did someone say COWABUNGA?! SERIOUSLY!?

  • philphoggs

    Oh man thats just wrong.

  • Mark W

    I can almost guarantee the thought process that went into this:

    MBA #1: “The entertainment department is being beat out by Glow Fest in the guest experience surveys!!”

    MBA #2: “Glow Fest is hip, edgy, and involves dancing!! People like things that are hip, edgy, and involve dancing!!”

    MBA #1: “We need more things that are hip, edgy, and involve dancing!!”

    MBA #2: “Let’s create a show that is hip, edgy, and involves dancing!! The people will love it!! It’s What Walt Would Do(TM)!!”

    MBA #1 (to Marty Sklar): “If anyone complains about this, please write an op-ed explaining that this is What Walt Would Do(TM).”

    Marty Sklar: “Just keep the pension checks coming boys…”

    MBA #2 (to John Lasseter): “If you don’t fight us on this, we’ll add some type of Pixar overlay to the next 5 generic attractions we order from the widget makers in Glendale.”

    John Lasseter: *salivates*

  • That was the most embarrassingly white thing I have ever seen. Angel food cake eaten by Vanilla Ice and Glenn Beck in an Antarctic snowstorm is not that white. I can’t believe that Disney thinks that Uncle Remus is offensive but this is okay.

    In closing, this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOxt9PoJNkg

  • Smaha

    This makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I mean, this stuff wouldn’t fly in Branson…..

    All kidding aside, how is it even possible for something like this to make it in front of paying guests? How can so many people be so horribly out-of-touch with their audience?

  • I laughed my head off at the executive thought process above. Sadly, far too plausible. As to what they were thinking, who knows what in the world they could have been thinking??

  • Maria

    I needed ten solid minutes of classic Disney music to repair the damage. For the sake of all that is good in the world, WHY?

    The plus of being a Disney dork? I now know exactly what to avoid come senior trip next spring. The moment I hear those opening notes or see a giant beige bear with a sailor hat, I’m grabbing my friends and sprinting in the opposite direction.

  • Ted

    How can something be so bland and yet offensive at the same time??

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