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Around The World In Eighty Mehs

A saw a story yesterday that made me realize that there have been a lot of little bits and pieces of news trickling out lately about new attractions that are coming to some of the less-covered Disney parks overseas. These developments don’t tend to get the coverage that new American attractions receive, so I thought that I’d summarize them here.

Now, I know I’ve been a bit of a Debbie Downer lately, what with all the disappointing shenanigans at Feature Animation and Parks & Resorts, but I’m afraid that won’t be turned around by these projects. One can pretty much guarantee that any new project at Tokyo Disneyland will be top notch due to the incredibly high levels of quality and service that the Oriental Land Company manages to achieve, but even they’re getting stuck with some new attractions that are less than… inspiring. But let’s take a look:

Concept art for Fantasmic! at Tokyo DisneySeaConcept art for Fantasmic! at Tokyo DisneySea (Disney)

The most recent announcement came a couple of days ago when the Oriental Land Company announced that it would be replacing its current night-time water show BraviSEAmo! with the similarly punctuated Fantasmic! The new show will debut in April 2011 as part of the celebrations surrounding Tokyo DisneySea’s 10th Anniversary, which is on September 4th of that year.

This might seem underwhelming to Disney fans, who might already have seen Fantasmic! in either California (where it’s played since 1992) or Florida (where it debuted in 1998). Thankfully we can hope for a little of that OLC magic (and their roughly $33.5 million investment) to update the twenty-minute show, as the announcement promises scenes from Aladdin, Cinderella and Finding Nemo. One can expect some new staging, too, on the waters of the park’s Mediterranean Harbor area. The concept art above shows Mickey atop some kind of ziggurat rising out of the water, and it seems apparent that the setup of the show will accommodate the larger lagoon.

BraviSEAmo! will perform its last show on November 13th, 2010, and preparation for Fantasmic! will begin soon after. While it might seem sacrilegious in Disney circles, I really am not a fan of Fantasmic!. In fact, I kinda hate it; it’s just not my thing (save for the giant MechaMaleficent). But hopefully the OLC will pull out all the stops to make it worthwhile. After all, their live shows typically tend to blow the offerings in the American parks completely out of the water.

Of course, DisneySea has been paying the price lately for its decade of awesomeness by receiving a string of cast-offs from other parks. Last year they got Turtle Talk with Crush, which fits beautifully with the 1930s ambiance of the American Waterfront area and the stylish S.S. Columbia. The American Waterfront will be the site of DisneySea’s next expansion, arriving in 2012. We’ve talked about this one before – behold:

Rendering of Toy Story Mania! at Tokyo DisneySeaEeeeeehh… (Disney)

Toy Story Mania! (what’s up with all the exclamation points?) will be added to the New York area of the American Waterfront. Hopefully its budget of $129 million will lead to a little plussing.

Now.

Over at Tokyo Disneyland proper, there are a few new attractions on the way. The park, of course, has recently received the massively popular Monsters, Inc. dark ride. While unannounced, it also seems certain that the park will be receiving the upgrades to Star Tours that are on the way to parks stateside. In 2011, Mickey’s Philharmagic will be added in Fantasyland. While that’s perfectly reasonable, it naturally makes me sad because it necessitated the loss of the legendary Mickey Mouse Revue which I will now never be able to see in person. Between the Revue and Meet the World, replaced itself by Monsters, Inc., Tokyo Disneyland was a haven for attractions that should exist at Walt Disney World and I always hoped to see them myself.

Anyway.

Another attraction I’d always wanted to see at Tokyo Disneyland was the Cinderella Castle Mystery Tour, a walkthrough attraction that took guests through the bowels of the park’s iconic castle. This attraction has to be one of the most truly bizarre in Disney park history, leading guests through a series of encounters with various villains to a final confrontation with the Horned King from The Black Cauldron as he tries to raise an army of the damned.

So, yeah. I kinda hated to miss that one. It sounded insane, it was the sole attraction ever to reference The Black Cauldron, and it furthered my inferiority complex about the Magic Kingdom having the only one of the first four Disney castles to not have an attraction of its own. But the Mystery Tour closed in 2006, without replacement. Until now.

Now, I understand the closing of the old attraction and I understand the desire to make the new walk-through, which opens in 2011, focus specifically on Cinderella. After all, it’s her castle. And if we’re embarking on a brave new world of endless princess meet-and-greet interactive experiences, this would be a reasonable place for one. But I want you to take a moment and absorb the piece of concept art that was released to accompany the press release announcing this attraction. This wasn’t released as part of a sequence of renderings, or to emphasize one specific aspect of the project. This was, and as far as I can tell still is, the only piece of artwork that has been released to promote this new attraction. Can you tell I’m really wanting to build this up? So much that I’m going to put a page break below to make you click through to see?

Drum roll, please – gentlemen, behold!

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Pixar’s Place?

The new gateway to Pixar Place. Photo nabbed from EpcotServo.

These are odd times for Disney theme park fans. After a decade of escalating affronts to the legacy of quality and good taste they had long taken for granted, relief came in the form of new CEO Bob Iger and the John Lasseter-led Pixar [...]

Toy Story… MANIA

Yesterday, Disney went live with their new webpage for Toy Story Mania!, the new attraction for Disney-MGM Studios and California Adventure (where it will be known as Toy Story Midway Mania). The page (pictured above) is still rather sparse, but features a few pieces of concept art and behind the scenes images (through [...]

Blue Sky Rumors from the Florida Project

From around the web come rumors and portents of upcoming attractions for Walt Disney World in Florida. We remind you that these are only rumors; nothing is certain until opening day. Think about that the next time you’re visiting the Equatorial Africa pavilion at EPCOT…

Magic Kingdom

The big rumor lately is the rumbling [...]

A skunk by any other name…

Disgusting Giant HatA few weeks ago the folks at Disney HQ announced something that the net nabobs had been expecting for a long time – a name change for the Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park in Orlando. These rumors go way, way back – litigation over the name began even before the park opened and extended well into the 1990′s. MGM management at the time realized that their predecessors had been totally chumped by Disney when they brokered the sweetheart deal over licensing rights, and have been trying to increase their take ever since.

So, for years we’ve been treated to a constant stream of rumors. “This is the year the contract is over… look for the name to change.” “Next year the contract with MGM is running out – it’s going to be Disney Studios then.” The park has been referred to as “Disney Studios” on WDW promotional videos for years, and the name change was always rumored to be right around the corner.

Things heated up again with the Disney – Pixar merger. The rumor mill started cranking with tales of the impending announcement of “Disney-Pixar Studios Theme Park”. Counter-rumors circulated that a thawing relationship with George Lucas after the departure of Michael Eisner would lead to an increased Lucasfilm presence in the park, and out of respect for that “Pixar” would be dropped from the name or “Lucas” added in some way. People photoshopped park logos with Mickey and their favorite Pixar character; various rumor sites contradicted each other but they mostly all agreed that the jury was still out at WDI on what to do with the park.

Disney

So, finally we get the announcement that WDW fans have been waiting for for at least a decade, and it’s something that no one had expected: in January 2008, the park will become “Disney’s Hollywood Studios”. No one really expected this name, and the web immediately began circulating with stories that it wasn’t necessarily a permanent name, and that it would change sometime in the near future once certain improvements were made to the park. But for now “Hollywood Studios” it is.

Oy.What does this all mean, really? Well, in the words of Walt Disney World president Meg Crofton, “as a park all about entertainment, Disney’s Hollywood Studios will deliver like never before. Now we can say that Hollywood is literally our middle name.” Now aside from the fact that someone in PR actually got paid to write that press release, this big name change is worth just about as much as the handful of crumpled paper in the dustbin beside my desk. Namely, very little. The Studios theme park is a mess; a disaster of both theme and execution, and is in more desperate need of immediate and massive overhaul than I think WDC realizes. Slapping a new name on the marquee won’t change that; if this park is really going to catch up to its Florida siblings, the folks in Burbank are going to have to get serious about commiting to change.

Continue reading A skunk by any other name…